Adam strolled into my room, and leaned around my laptop to see what I was up to. As soon as he'd gotten a glance of my screen, he looked to me,
"You making a blog?"
"Yep." I chirped, as I continued to fiddle with the template.
"What about?"
"Uh, well... whatever? General day-to-day stuff."
He watched absently as I continued to try different images and phrases to give my blog the feel I was going for. Nothing really melded properly in my mind. The bland, Times New Roman title called to the world: 'Hello, Yoshimi.' Underneath, the description said, 'Into the void.'
I felt like an asshole.
I looked to Adam, "Hey, what should I put in for a description?"
"Well, what are you planning on blogging about?"
When he originally wanted to know the subject of the blog, I thought he was the one that didn't get it. Now I was beginning to wonder if I was the one doing something wrong.
"I don't know, really. I've always wanted to make a makeup blog, but I don't really have the resources or drive to tackle that now. This was just going to use this to get back into blogging."
Adam shrugged and wandered back to his room.
After a few more futile minutes of uninspired text and image combinations, I decided to take care of the look of the blog later, and instead concentrate on finding the direction of my blog through writing.
So here I am.
Finding direction has never really been my strong suit. I'm not sure if that's a problem of immaturity, personality, or a deep-rooted cynicism towards structure. I know for sure I've always had trouble making decisions and taking sides. Life seems too multifaceted.
I created this blog for a few different reasons:
Firstly, I'm a writer. I find writing to be one of the easiest ways for me to communicate with others. I was an English major in college for this reason. So now, whenever I am met with something that gets my brain churning, I think about articles and rants to write. I used to have blogs on livejournal and melodramatic.com back when I was younger, but I find that those sites don't really appeal to me like they used to.
Secondly, I enjoy connecting with others, but in a way that gives me time to parse out my thoughts. I'm an introvert by nature, which means less that I don't like being around people, and more that I have a tendency to find social situations draining. If I'm writing a blog entry, I can both work on my skills as a writer, but in a way that stimulates my social needs.
Lastly, I love the internet. I've been on the internet since I was thirteen. It's weird and crazy and shitty and stupid, but it's a big pile of pure freedom and creativity and I want to be in it.
So, it seems it would behoove me to give this little impulsive blog of mine a theme of some sort. To be honest, I hate confining myself. Rules have their place, although I'm not sure they do here, at this moment. Direction, on the other hand, is something that some areas of my life are in need of.
But, I just want to be a part of this world.
<3 Yoshimi
